Brokeness. I can tell you a thing or two about being broken. Of course, there are countless others whose “breaking” comes from, arguably, worse sources and situations than mine. However, the end results are the same: pain, mistrust, the devaluing of self, never seeing the world in the same way again. Of course, there is also the fact that satan will use these broken areas over & over again in attempts to keep us broken. But those are the bad sides of being broken.
“Wait,” you say? “Sounds like there’s a good side to being broken?” you question.
“Yes,” I say, “and its necessary.”
My prayer is that when you finish reading this, you will be encouraged and will find renewed hope and blessing out of being broken.
A few weeks ago, my pastor delivered a message on this very subject. It is something that I’ve been dealing with, working on and through, and experiencing for the past few months. The thing is…I asked for it, and I had no idea what I was asking! I just knew I wanted a change…God’s way.
You see, I heard someone speak about how her life had been turned upside down. However, she prayed that God would break her own image of what her life should be, and remake or remold it into His image, His plan. It hit me that was what I wanted, and…in that moment…started praying that God would do just that. Let me tell you…God WILL do what we ask if it is in His will for our lives. He had evidently just been waiting for me to surrender.
Surrender is key. Without it, the things that break us do just that–break us–without any kind of resolution, repair, reconciliation or restoration. But, if we surrender to the Lord’s plan for us and allow Him to do what He will, WOW! Our lives can be so much more than we ever expected or imagined.
For so long I wandered through life wanting and expecting God to change things for me, but never surrendering to allow Him to change ME! When I finally did that, I was–and am–amazed at how I see things–the world–differently. I still have a long way to go in my brokeness, which is what brings me to writing this. I’ve gone through many changes and realizations over the past 6 or 8 months. I got to a point of stagnancy (if that’s not a word, I just created it. LOL!). I told my friend that I thought it was because I wasn’t inspired about anything. I wasn’t inspired to write or create, or even read much. I wasn’t being hit with any magnificent revelations…just a few nuggets here and there.
But then Pastor preached this message on brokeness.
At some point during that message, I realized what my problem has been. It wasn’t a lack of inspiration–not directly anyway. It was realizing that I was not finished in being broken, but I had been acting as though God was finished with me! No wonder things were becoming so frustrating to me! I had left behind the surrender of letting God do whatever He was going to do.
I was listening to K-Love the other night, driving home from work. A little vignette played and the person was talking about the woman at the well. She spoke of how Jesus asked the woman for water, but He told her of the Living Water He could offer to her. He was asking her for something that He completely wanted to give back to her…only His was infinitely better! Oh friends…if we could just grasp and hold onto this in those moments of brokeness!
It occurred to me that this was exactly what the Lord has been doing with me. In this time of being broken and re-molded (or re-modeled), He has been asking me to give Him some things. All the while, He was telling me that it would be okay, that what I got back would be better. Then, when I let go of some of those things, He urged me to ask for them back…but only by HIS Power and HIS will. Surrender.
So…here I am, three weeks after writing the previous paragraphs. (I really must finish my posts in a more timely fashion.) As I re-read those first paragraphs, I am currently living what I’ve written. He asked for something back. I had to surrender. I had to give it back, and give in to whatever He has planned for me in this season. Do I believe it’s gone for good? No. But I do believe that I still have some growing and learning to do. In His due time, He will position me to be used according to His will. I say, “Lead on, Lord. I will follow!”